Mr Autism 2018

You’ve heard of Miss World right?

Ladies compete with other ladies through a variety of rounds, like swimwear, bikini, fashion etc.

But did you know that they have a male version? 

Well today for 2018 let me introduce you to MR AUSTISM WORLD 2018! 

Yes that’s right

MR AUTISM is a one hour competition whereby all the DES agents from my job agency gather together with telephones and desks and you have to walk in and beg and plead and cross your fingers that they’ll listen when you explain for the millionth time what type of job it is that you want.

But off course that never happens. 

What happens is this. You explain that the areas where you are best suited. During that time, a flap of skin moves down and closes of most of your conversation, so all they here is blah, blah, blah, blah. I want a job. 

Then they get onto the phones and make some calls.

TO ALL OF THE PLACES THAT YOU HAVE JUST SPENT THE PAST 10 MINUTES TELLING THEM IN MINUTE DETAIL THAT YOU’LL HAVE A MELTDOWN IF THEY MANAGE TO SECURE YOU A ROLE IN THAT INDUSTRY. 

It’s also a bit like speed dating, although no actual date takes place, you go from desk to desk ever hopeful of a match (job) but leave bitterly disappointed and find yourself buying any chocolate on special (it’s nearly easter so there’s bound to be a lot of choice)

I am upset clearly that I didn’t get to don my speedo’s and compete in the fashion stakes but this really takes the biscuit.

Why am I a novelty? Why do I need to beg and plead and cry like a wife whose husband is leaving her for the dental hygiene assistant? Subsequently they are opening a glove shop in Tasmania. I’m not bitter and will never wear gloves again. 

I think that this is the final straw.

But my question now is what do to do?