Autistic N!ck starts his diet Lettuce see how I get on

FUN FACT – In the early 1900s, overweight businessman Horace Fletcher slimmed down and made dieting a pop culture phenomenon with his Chewing Diet. He recommended chewing food until it became liquid to prevent overeating.

FUN FACT – Another method rumoured to be popular in the early 1900s was the Tapeworm Diet. Theoretically, one would swallow a tapeworm or tapeworm pills. The worm would then live in your stomach and consume some of your food.

FUN FACT – Did you know that 3,500 calories equals approximately 1 pound (0.45 kilogram) of fat? That means you need to burn 3,500 calories more than you take in to lose 1 pound.

FUN FACT – Did you know that the word “Diet” comes from the Greek root word “Diaita”, which means “to live one’s life,” and from the Latin root word, “Diaeta,” meaning a “manner of living”.

It’s 6pm and its dinner time.

That part of the day when you scramble to think of a meal that you can cook and serve up within a half an hour time frame.

You open the fridge door and then shut again immediately as the realisation dawns on you there isn’t anything in the fridge that you can eat as something called an expiry date alerts you to the fact that everything you had fresh in your fridge has expired and will have to be thrown into your kitchen waste bin.

You sigh as you open the draw containing the take away menus and begin to work out which meals will tantalise your taste buds (or which will be the fastest to be delivered).

Until yesterday I had a variety of brightly coloured menus at my fingertips, I could (a proud boast here) recite their telephone number off to you by heart.

Ahh there is nothing like smelling freshly cooked chips from a fish and chip shop or opening a box of hot Chinese food, or smelling that delicious wafting smell of that Indian korma that you were looking forward to all week.

But now alas those restaurants will have to make money without my custom whilst paying their staff the correct minimal wage.

So recently I have started as of today an 800 calorie diet (insert yawn).

To achieve this, I am having to keep a

The Food Diary

Yes, because nothing says food is fun like having to work out how many dam calories there were in that chickpea salad I had for lunch!

I wonder who in a moment of coming up with a fun activity to do yelled out

“Hey everyone, let’s keep a food diary that way we can see just exactly what we are eating and should the day come when we need to diet we can look back at these entries and work out what foods we should and shouldn’t be eating. Who’s with me?”

I highly doubt a single hand went up to be honest.

I can’t see places like Target rushing to order hundreds of thousands of these and be unable to keep up with demand!

Look it’s only been 3 hours into this new plan that I am on.

For breakfast I had 2 eggs scrambled on one piece of rye bread (I had to measure out a tea spoon of butter to spread on the bread!)

Yes, it has come to measuring out my butter!

Oh and if you’re wondering what Rye bread tastes like (I know you are!) it’s like someone has cut out a square from a rug of carpet and then placed it inside a bag with other sliced carpet squares.

At around 11AM I had an apple.

This is as about as exciting as watching question time in the Australian parliament.

It’s now coming up to lunch time and what delights await me food wise?

I had a salmon salad with 2 crackers.

I know you feel this meal was as mouth-watering as it sounds.

It’ll probably be a salad or some kind with something added to it to take away the blandness of the salad probably salmon or tuna or maybe ham?

My mum has just sent me an email, attached to it is an excel spreadsheet where I can put in how many calories I have consumed for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks and it’ll add it all up!

Whilst my sister is busy planning my evening meals for the next two weeks.

Oh joy, oh wondrous joy!

I know you think I lead this exciting life and this only goes to prove that I do!

I have two weeks of this!

I’ll keep you up to date on my progress as I go along.

For now, a salmon/tuna/ham (possibly) salad is what I have to look forward to.

Carry on the conversation

Are you currently on a diet?

If so what one and is it working for you?

Let me know in the comments below

As always, I can also be found on Twitter: @AutisticNick9 and at my email autisticnick9@gmail.com

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Thank you for reading and I will see you next time for more thoughts from across the spectrum.