AUTISTIC NICK, THE ELEMENTS AND K-MART LIFE HACKS

This week started like most weeks do with me waking up and shivering due to the winter months that are currently bestowed upon us and I wrap myself in my blanket and stay under the warm duvet cover until my stomach rumbles so loudly that I have to get up and have breakfast and a hot mug of tea.

Monday’s always start out that moment you decide to join a K-Mart mum’s group on Facebook.

It starts out pleasantly enough, you like a few posts, you read the various threads and then one day you have that moment that all those mums live for.

It’s called the hack of the week.

It’s the one thing that divides these K-Mart mum’s group

It must be ingenious and must save you time and money.

You cannot just post any old hack it has to be one that ends up going viral and you get a week’s worth of fame.

That taste of appearing in news articles online doesn’t ever leave you and there end game is to have the hack of the week each and every week.

Nothing will stop them in their gain for hack supremacy

But I am not part of a K-Mart mum’s group.

Being a single gay man it’s not for me.

My week started with rain.

And the rain didn’t stop until the following Monday.

Madonna even wrote a song about Rain and its many effects.

My week was now going to have to revolve around rain and cold.

On Monday

MONDAY

I put in a request to join a K-Mart mother’s group and it got turned down and feeling upset I begin to construct a blog post to be posted on the Tuesday. The previous week I had turned into an agony uncle (https://autisticnick.com/2019/06/17/autistic-nick-turns-agony-uncle/) and then this week’s post was a top ten tips on how to deal with internet trolls. So, I spent half the day researching, writing, locating photo’s and then putting it all together for tomorrow’s post. https://autisticnick.com/2019/06/25/autistic-nicks-top-ten-tips-on-how-to-deal-with-internet-trolls/.

TUESDAY

The rain still comes thundering down. It is still cold. For lunch I am about to eat some home-made tomato soup with a bread roll. My sister made the soup and its delicious. In the afternoon I decide to make a fake Facebook profile to join this K-Mart mother’s group. I want to see all the hacks that they come up with and I can’t join due to being a single man. *This may not be completely accurate* I posted my blog post at 7am AWST.

WEDNESDAY

The wind has now accompanied the rain and is howling its displeasure at having to do battle with the rain.  It too wants to join this K-Mart mum’s group to come up with a life hack that will end with them basking in glory and numerous press stories being written about them. I may start up my own K mart group but for Autistics only where whenever we discover a life hack we can post it without our gender being an issue.

THURSDAY

The rain and the wind continually do battle. Who will win in the supremacy race for best element? The next target where this epic battle takes centre stage is the pool. I am being kept warm by ducted air con, soup and crackers. Entertainment wise my TV and podcasts fill my days. By dinner time the pool had overflowed due to the rain shedding its load.

FRIDAY

Is there no reprieve from this torrential rain downpour? How will I do my weekly shop this week? Will the WA government issue us all with life boats? Or will we have to have our food air lifted to us? Will all this have to happen via an emergency website address yet to be determined and set up? How will we survive without food and water and other essential items? Just spoke to Janine Ripper and am much calmer now. There is no need to panic she informs me, and I believe her.

SATURDAY

The wind appears to have lost and retreated back to where it came from. The rain victorious pours down more and heavier than it was previously doing. It’s as if its mocking us for being the more powerful of the two elements. I am too cold to join in with this small but important victory for the rain. For lunch I had a cheese and ham toastie and some kettle chips.

SUNDAY

I awake to hear no rain! Can it be? Yes! A miracle has occurred! No more rain! No more wind! (that loser won’t show its face around here for some time). The day is still cold, but I am now at least sitting outside, or I am able to go for a walk without having to retreat due to the howling wind and the thunderous rain coming at my full throttle. Thus, my week has ended.  So, what have we learned this week? K-Mart Facebook groups are for mums trying to achieve 15-20 mins of fame, and the weather always wins and can determine the outcome of your day. *Please note as of the time of posting this blog post I haven’t created my life hack Facebook group because I simply don’t have any hacks to share with you all!*

Carry on the Conversation

Carry on the conversation

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Thank you for reading and I will see you next time for more thoughts from across the spectrum.