AUTISTIC NICK’S WEEK

The second month in the winter calendar is July, full of warm hugs, stews, hot tea, warm jumpers and track pants.

But July offers so much more than just a warm embrace or a satisfying hot meal.

It offers up my birthday!

Yes, my birthday falls into the second month of winter for us Australians and thus this was how I spent my week leading up to the big day.

MONDAY

Offers up little to no joy and I really think that we should in fact call upon the united nations to cast a vote to scrap Monday from the working week. What joy has Monday ever bought us? None that’s what. If Monday was an STI then it would be the herpes of the STI strand. There I said it! But having said that a plan like they used to conjure up in an episode of the TV show ‘The A Team’ was coming together about what I was going to do on Thursday the day of my birthday.

TUESDAY

Telephone and make a booking for a restaurant that I want to have my birthday lunch at on Thursday. Did I mention that my birthday falls on a Thursday this year? Well it does! Funny that! I’m also looking to go to the shops as I have to buy a new coat. I recently had a clear out of my wardrobe and I filled four bags with items that I don’t wear anymore or are too small or I hate.

WEDNESDAY

Got asked my Australian address by a friend. *Please note that at the time of writing this the gift/card/whatever it is they sending me (a private tour of Chris Hemsworth’s Byron Bay home by the man himself)? Hasn’t arrived as of yet. Our postal workers don’t work on the weekend.

THURSDAY

The day has arrived! I’m *&%#@$^& years of age! I awake to a breakfast of eggs and bacon. I then open my gifts and cards and get ready for a day of celebration. I firstly check Facebook (*by the days end only 10 people had wished me a happy birthday), 6 on twitter and none on LinkedIn. I spent the morning shopping; I bought a new coat and jumper and I had lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I then spent the evening replying to text messages from well-wishers whose messages I had missed during the day. I also received a cheese cake topped with fresh strawberries which was made by my sister as per my request.

FRIDAY

I’m happy to report that I suffered no hangovers, and I was able to take away what I didn’t eat yesterday in a container and it will be form part of today’s lunch. Saves me having to open a tin of tuna or unwrap deli sliced ham. On a side note I was served by a polite well-mannered person in Aldi today so something positive to come out of this week. See Aldi management some of your staff can smile and be polite and ask me if I’d like to get a free copy of next week’s catalogue, it’s just a shame that it’s only ever one person and not the whole team.

SATURDAY

The morning has gone by quietly and without any excitement to it. Lunch was a prawn salad roll with some kettle chips. The afternoon is looking like it’ll be nice and quiet. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast (we had to use up some left-over bacon) I mean whose gonna waste bacon? I am sitting in my room writing this and the house is peaceful and relaxed and there is a calm about the place. It’s also time for my afternoon nap. Which is greatly needed I can tell you.

SUNDAY

Sunday only serves as a reminder that Monday in all its ugliness is literally just around the corner, hovering like a stalker who works at a chemist in the photo processing part and knows every intimate detail of your life. I may have been thinking of that Robin Williams movie ‘One Hour Photo’ the 2002 American psychological thriller. Sunday’s are just a slap in the face poor replica of Saturday. There I said it. Once we rid ourselves of Monday’s the better our lives will be. It’ll be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday see how much better that sounds? You know I’m right. And with working from home a thing now there’s never been a better time to rid ourselves of the herpes day of the week – that being Monday.

Carry on the Conversation

As always, I can also be found on Twitter:@AutisticNickAU and on the Autistic Nick Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/AutisticNickAU/

Thank you for reading and I will see you next time for more thoughts from across the spectrum.