SIX THINGS THAT AUTISTIC NICK DISLIKES
Yes, you’ve read that title of this week’s blog correctly, I was going to use the word hate but it’s strong word and I don’t necessarily hate these things so I thought dislike would be a nicer sounding way to get my point of view across.
And as astounding as it sounds there are things that I dislike/piss me off/hate.
So, here are my top six things (insert dramatic music).
ONE
Schedule changes, cancellations, change of venue if say we were meeting at a café for lunch or pub, letting me know last minute, or even on the day. Off course something that are cancelled last minute can sometimes warrant a plausible excuse or it can’t be helped in that case then a text message/phone call would be appreciated unless its an emergency and you or someone in your family has been in an accident and is in hospital then that’s understandable.
TWO
Beginning to build a new relationship with a work colleague or a support worker. So if for example I find myself with a new support worker it can be a hard process as I believe that I am a good judge of character when it comes to sussing out if a support worker will be good for me or not.
Sometimes I’ve gotten it wrong, and that person has said something or done something which has made me question them and their actions.
It’s scary hiring someone new to support me, I don’t know what they’re going to be like once it’s just me and them in the car together.
I don’t know if I will be able to be myself around them, whether I’ll feel comfortable enough to be able to do that, will they meet my expectations and vice versa.
I’m not the type of person who is willing or can see the benefits of starting all over again getting to know a person.
It was tiring the first-time round, although I will say that I clicked immediately with the other support workers, it was just an instant thing.
And maybe because I’ve not had such great luck in the past that I’m very resilient to putting in all that time and effort and hard work getting to know someone, making it work for me only to be let down by that person.
I think that I place a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself for it to work and that they’ll be no complications and that they’ll stick around.
THREE
Changes in my routine are much more difficult for me the person with Autism and accepting what seems like a small change to others can take some time for me the individual. Describe the change, using clear and concrete language. Do not use unnecessary wording.
Having the change communicated to me clearly and definitively will help me the autistic individual in the process of accepting the change.
Make time for me the individual to engage in self-calming activities such as stimming or deep breathing. Reassure them by reminding them that you are there if they need you.
FOUR
Communication for an Autistic person is a frustrating process.
When it comes to communicating as an Autistic person, I am having three-way conversations in my head whenever I interact with other work colleagues, ensuring that I am interacting with them and communicating by giving measured responses to their questions.
The only way I can describe this is imagine that you are at UN conference, you sit down, and in a booth not too far away another person a translator sits down and puts on a pair of headphones.
Then the conversation begins, and I hear it, the person with the headphones on, translates it for me and then provides me with a response.
I must translate what that person says into what I class “Autism language”, then it’s processed into English and then I repeat my answer back thanks to the translator which is a tiring process.
I have constantly put in the work only to have it thrown back in my face.
FIVE
Ugh! I hate making decisions.
There I said it.
I’ve finally gotten it off my chest.
Every day I am faced with the decision-making process, like what to have for breakfast, or lunch or what to wear, or where to go to meet a friend for a coffee.
It’s a tiring and exhausting process.
If I was told to eat this and do that, I wouldn’t necessarily find it offensive in the beginning, but you can bet ya slowly like a coin being dropped into a charity tin or that moment you realise something about someone, and the penny drops I will retaliate in the highest!
I am faced with a constant barrage of decisions on a daily basis like do I leave out a comma in this blog and then wait for the grammar police of word to come along and highlight it for me because they derive in the pleasure of seeing me sigh after they’ve highlighted it in blue and they want me to come along and right click it to see what the blue highlight is all about.
SIX
You hear that? That’s them attempting to evacuate every thought about this past week from your brain. So, it’s just you and me It’s just us here. Okay?
The voices are getting closer louder. Autistic Nick is panicked.
Someone has taken control of the remote control and has all the past week’s events playing on a loop.
The stressful, rise of an imploding explosion of stress, the bewildered reaction of being lost in the moment and not seeing an escape route.
An evacuation plan is needed but one can’t be worked out quickly enough.
The realisation of mistakes being potentially made unintentionally but nevertheless an explanation awaits.
The thought process isn’t slowing down anytime soon.
The relentless revisiting those events inside my head, are constant.
Inside my head it feels like it’s been taken over by police officers who are screaming
Armed Police! Armed Police! Get down on the ground! Put your hands on your head and get down! GET DOWN!
I want to get down and place my hands in the air, but I simply can’t.
For punishment I must replay all the previous week’s events, over and over and analyse each section of conversation, gesture, reaction, response, tone, until I lay down to sleep and it begins all over again.
CARRY ON THE CONVERSATION
What things in your life piss you off and how do you deal with them?
Let me know in the comments section below.
As always, I can also be found on Twitter:@AutisticNickAU and on the Official Autistic Nick Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/AutisticNickAU/
Thank you for reading and I will see you next time for more thoughts from across the spectrum.
Autistic Nick 