HOW AUTISTIC NICK PREPARES HIMSELF TO HAVE A CONVERSATION
Communicating and have a conversation are things that strike fear into me.
I hate, I repeat hate having to have conversations about something that I need to address in any circumstance.
I often revert to not being verbal and trying to conceal and avoid having to have that conversation.
I’d rather do anything else and be anywhere else at that moment in time.
But then I sometimes have to have a conversation inside my head in order to get out the words that I need to.
I don’t want to come across rude when I am facing that person, group of people, so I have to run through mock conversations inside my head in order to form and deliver my words.
But if that doesn’t work, what can you do?
Well for me here’s what I do.
ASK FOR HELP
I will seek out a friend and ask them for their advice, explaining the situation, what happened, what’s happened, and what I feel the issues are, what needs to be addressed. I can then form a viewpoint and see how to address what needs to be addressed.
Similarly, I may ask a family member or a work colleague for some advice.
TAKE NOTES
I will sit on the train and get out my notebook and begin to make notes, it may be scribble, or bullet points, or however I jot down what I need to get out of my head, but it all can help once I have those in front of me so that I can refer to them during the conversation that I am about to have/will have.
TAKE YOUR TIME
I sometimes struggle to get my words out and if that happens and I’m not able to fully get my words out then I take a deep breath and begin slowly. Attempting (it’s difficult to do) to be conscious of what I am saying and thinking about each word as I speak.
I try as best as I can to speak and be measured in my tone so that I am not being rude rather I’m being polite.
MAKE A LIST
This can be either questions that I need answering or am seeking answers to. It could be my list of concerns. It could be things that I need to discuss, or need updates on or whatever it is. I make a list. That way I can be sure and satisfied that I have dealt with and covered everything that was on my mind without going away feeling that I didn’t discuss something that I felt was important.
ROLE PLAY
Not the type of role playing that you’re necessarily thinking of! I mean if it’s possible have a friend, family member, whoever be the other person that you are looking to chat to and role play the situation. This is a great way to see a reaction from that other person and see what worked and what didn’t, what words you should’ve used and what tone you were using in the way that you were speaking to that person.
This can also work if you are unsure about how to actually start the conversation that you need to have, your friend, family member, whoever may have some suggestions on how to go about that which may prove helpful at that time but also in future conversations.
A THIRD PERSON
Again, not what you think you dirty minded people! No what I mean is if you feel that it’s beneficial for you to bring in a third person to your conversation and if it’s possible then I’d highly recommend it. That person can be in the role of moderator or mediator and they can objectively see both viewpoints and offer comment and feedback. Which would hopefully prove beneficial to both parties.
Those are just a few things that have worked for me.
Let me know in the comments section below what’s worked for you.
Have I missed anything?
Can you pass on any hints or tips?
CARRY ON THE CONVERSATION
As always, I can also be found on Twitter:@AutisticNickAU and on the Official Autistic Nick Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/AutisticNickAU/
Thank you for reading and I will see you next time for more thoughts from across the spectrum.
Autistic Nick 